Song lyric prophesies...

I dare you to read these songs lyrics like you would a poem, and not feel like they were written about our national politics today:

Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.


Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
And I'm wondering what it is I should do,
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.


Well you started out with nothing,
And you're proud that you're a self made man,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please.... Please.....


Trying to make some sense of it all,
But I can see that it makes no sense at all,
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,
'Cause I don't think that I can take anymore
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.


Well you started out with nothing,
And you're proud that you're a self made man,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please.... Please.....

Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you,

Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
Stuck in the middle with you.

~ music and lyrics by Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty aka Stealer's Wheel band, 1972.

back atchya

guess it's past time to get back on here and figure out what this blog's purpose is gonna be. With the election over and my art on its own blog, frankly, i'm trying to rationalize any and all lame excuses for not closing it down.

i am lately full of all kinds of ideas for my paper playing and not much else if I can avoid it. what to write, what to write? i have some bragging i could do on missy and hubs. they have both been busy this fall. guess it wouldn't hurt to share. i will try to tone down the bragging.

missy made the deans list last spring, went to the national conference in dc of her student professional society last month, and a couple of weeks ago her team won their fall student competition among 6 or 7 regional universities, including texas a&m and ut. she is a junior advertising major and is focussing on the creative side of it as opposed to the marketing side. so, she has to work doubly hard and is very into her campus ad-fed society. we basically just leave her alone lately, we call at the wrong time a lot, and i think it's nothing more than she doesn't really have two seconds to spare.

there's more, like her job and her plans to rent a house next semester, and her getting serious about learning adobe in design by buying her first apple mac, but like i said, i'm trying to tone down the bragging. ;-)

hubs is still running his special project that i don't know the first thing about. he's been at it since august. that's a long time to work 6 days a week 12 hours a day, isn't it? it's supposed to last at least a year, maybe 18 months. ugh. he's so dependable though, he just chugs right along. i just avoid him if he's in a bad mood, which isn't often, knock-wood, and he's only awake a couple hours when he's at home so i do try to be accessible to him. i think missy not being here helps. it's more boring and calm here now...in a good way.
*******************
i've always liked this shot. it allows me to *know* what comes next, yet *feel* the last few moments of what was Camelot. the *knowing* is what i must remember. the *feeling* is what i yearn to remember.
it was that heavy. americans of my generation ventured into unchartered territory that day. nobody's dying today or in the last 50 years (after martin and bobby) could ever produce the same shock for us. we were children basking in JFK love. then, bam.
i used to joke that kids my age grew up learning one set of choices and consequences, and then entered a world without any. this photo lets me go back before all that, 45 years ago today.

Back from Real Life

Me, exhausted but wearing my Happy for Hillary smile, upon getting the news at my precinct caucus that she won Texas!!!!

Caucuses suck, by the way, the most un-democratic chaos that could be and IMO a direct disenfranchisement of the vote, ripe for abuse. I'm already signed up on a petition to do away with Texas' so-called Two Step, but that's another story...

I've had the most incredible life since my last post, and I apologize for being gone from here for 10 days, but I can only plead Reality (as opposed to insanity, LOL).

Since we last visited, I volunteered for the campaign like every day, then was purely lucky enough to hookup with Alex, who was scouting for volunteers to read online content and identify sites with unfair accusations and info. So, I got to start doing that. It's just the most amazing thing and right up my alley, given my love of writing and Hillary's candidacy, LOL.

And right in the middle was that fantastic winning night!

I've learned so much, too. Most of which I can't talk about, but I sure wish I could. I can say we caught professional Obama caucusers at our precinct trying to pass themselves off as eligible participants and got them booted out, which enabled Hillary to win at my precinct. Filed complaints with the state party, too. Found out we weren't the only precinct that had this happen, either. And that the reason why Texas' caucus totals won't be finalized for months is because of all the complaints filed against the ObamaBots and it will probably take that long to settle those, but you will likely not be told that by the mainstream media because it makes Mr. New Kind of Politics look bad (I'm about ready to hit somebody right now just thinking about it).

Anyway, there's tons of other volunteers like me doing the same thing nationwide, so this is nothing special to anyone but me. But I love it.

So anyway, where was I on this blog? Oh, yeah, showing more birthday photos and picking 3 more commenters for RAKs. I do have a couple more photos. And, I have the hand-made RAKS for the next 3 peeps almost done, but until they are finished, I think I'm going to wait to say who they are for. I'm really enjoying making little artfarts for you, and I've been super-productive since I can work on bits and pieces while reading campaign content. I got the first 3 RAKs mailed off last week and have heard back from them. You're very welcome, my pleasure. I'll show some photos of my artfarts next time.

Okay, so the rest of my birthday photos: here's the scene pulling up to the restaurant, Pappadeaux.

Here's my m-i-l and s-i-l on our way out:

Here's most of the cards I got:I loved how one of them is an actual teenager card, HA! Here is one I got from my girl Texas Kim, and I think it's probably the most unusually cool "nude" thing I've ever gotten in the mail! I was shocked that it made it without a smudge or a tear (I made a little front and back photo collage for you so you can see that it was mailed just as you see it...no envelope...wowzers, huh?): Awesomely ingenious and creatively hip, Kim. Thanks! What did the post office clerk say? I'm dying to know! LOL

I also got a scrapping equipment gift. Hubs asked what big tool did I want, and I said (without hesitation), "I want the new Quickutz Revolution borders bundle!":Oh man, it's Lust with me and this bundle. Just looking at the photo makes me weak in the knees. I haven't ordered them yet, cuz I'm waiting for the price to drop just a bit. But it's great to know that it's a guilt-free purchase when that time comes, LOL. For me, this is a Top Ten contender in My Gifts of All Time.

Rosette has tagged me, so here goes (hey, girl, I hope you recognized that restaurant, being that it's in your vicinity, LOL):

A- Attached or single: Attached
B- Best Friend: Hubster
C- Cake or Pie: Cake (Duncan Hines Choc. Fudge)
D- Day of Choice: Sunday
E- Essential Item (s): cell, lipgloss, cash
F-Favorite type of music: 60's-80's rock
G- Gummy Bears or Worms: Neither
H- Hometown: Houston, TX
I- Indulgence(s): fried butterfly shrimp
J- January or July: January
K- Kids: 1 Girl
L Last movie: Bourne Supremacy on TBS
M- Marriage Date: 05/29/1987
N- Number of Siblings: 1 brother
O- Oranges or Apples: Apples
P- Phobias or Fears: heights
Q- Quote(s): "Know thyself" ~ Oracle at Delphi
R- Reason To Smile: Hubs cracks me up
S- Season: Fall
T- Tag : Tina
U- Unknown Fact About Me: (if I told you, it wouldn't be unknown anymore)...oh, okay: I've washed my face with Noxema my entire life.
V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: I'm not a vegetarian.
W- Worst Habit: Smoking
X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Ultrasounds
Y- Your Favorite Food: Rib eye, baked potato, salad
Z- Zodiac: Pisces

Poppin' in to update

Feels like I been away from here for a week or so, but I think I posted Friday. Aren't these pretty roses? Hubs bought them for me as a birthday week pretty to enjoy. I thought that was very sweet, but it could also be a pre-emptive olive branch since he is off work all week and that means home all the time. :-(

And here is Missy's newest tattoo. Hubs did not even bat an eyelash on this one. I never thought that would happen:

We are fine. The vigil/rosary Friday night and the Saturday morning funeral went well, but it was more emotionally exhausting than I aniticipated. I practically bolted for home the first chance I got. (We took separate vehicles at my suggestion.) It felt so good to just put jammies on and crash, in the middle of a sunny afternoon.

And I am still not over it. The only thing I remember about Saturday night was enjoying SNL more than a human should. I've been waiting for months for them to put the political parodies on the other foot, and I finally got my wish. The skit about the Dems' debate was just hilarious. They totally nailed the media's Obama hard-on, IMO. And Tina Fey's News Update commentary was perfect. Perfect! I did sleep well.

Sunday went by in a quick blur, although I made sure I did my annual viewing of the Oscars. I stayed engaged for the first hour or so, then went back to concentrating on my tiny little collages.

I wish I had some wonderfully cheerful humor to sprinkle, but I can only think about taking some non-existent vacation somewhere away from here, so I make do with escaping into my art (which is what I've been doing). The feeling of a bleak future is back haunting the rear of my head, but I'll deal. Always have. My blog, though, right? So I'm sharing the bad with the good.

I used to believe in presenting only love,love,love on my blog. Do you read any blogs where the blogger never has a bad day or an impure thought? Everything all the time is cheerful and perky? My goodness, that is so fake to me. Nobody has a life like that. If I am going to invest time and effort in reading a blog, I want the blogger to keep it real. I don't want to drown in gossipy minutia, but I don't mind at all floating on it, LOL.

Anyway, this week is going to be unexpected, as far as being planned out. Hubs is off work until Sunday, and I don't really know what if anything to expect in the way of helping out his mom. I have two atc swaps I need to mail off, and I am only halfway through with them. I need to make 10: 4 for one swap where we have to use a charm from the store that owns the yahoo group the swap is at, and 6 in a swap on my other yahoo group where the theme is St/ Pattys/Easter. Here is a favorite of the ones that I've made so far. It's for the latter group:



These are literally taking me forever! Gosh! That is probably causing me my frustration with Life in general. Hate it like a cat hates a mouse when my art doesn't flow. I'm having trouble coming up with different ideas, since I like to make each one different. No wonder some people make entire batches of identical atc's. At least they don't have to think much after getting them going.

I will say this, though. I am very proud of myself for sticking to my original goals here: using my stash up and doing the holiday swaps to collect cards for my tree. This often means my cards are not the hippest or most intricately beautiful, and whenever I get into doing these, that's a frustration. It's tough using stash up and manage to get a fresh, meaningful card made.

Well, off to lay down a bit. I'm feeling really bad gastrically. All of that funeral food from well-wishers doesn't sit right with my innerds. And let's not even bring up how risky it is to eat pot luck.

My Gosh, just heard Ralph Nader say on CNN that we might need a Jeffersonian revolution. That man won't be happy until we have one, I suppose. I still cannot believe he has decided to run again. And I'll just leave that there, cuz I'm really getting drowsy (medication for the gastritis).
Until tomorrow, I'll answer the question I've gotten about where did I buy my sandals from the other day?
Shoe Mall. Look up the shoes by their names (Adidas and Privos). Hope that helps!

Rubbed the right way, maybe...

This weekend, I ended up playing a bunch with different ways I could use those rub-ons that have appeared to have "gone bad". On this atc above, I had some success rubbing them onto acetate. I had some acetate sheets (transparency sheets) from back when I first got into rubber stamping, so I pulled some out and cut out some atc-sized rectangles.

This atc, "Lovey Dovey Danger", has an entire sheet of acetate on top of the atc. (you can see the glue dots at the corners if you look real close.) Onto the print-wrapped base, I rubbed on the 'Lovey Dovey' text, as well as the 'guaranteed' oval at the bottom. Then, onto the acetate, I rubbed the boy skeleton, the 'danger' text and the skull hand bones.

I could see right off that a nonporous and slightly sticky-feeling surface is one that rub-ons like best. Porous paper and vellum, not the best for a dying rub-on. So, that was good to know. Then, I played even more by brushing Diamond Glaze onto the back of the rub-on sheet itself, letting it dry, then cutting out a shape. Here's an atc I made using that trick: What I discovered when I did that, was that if I cut the shape out leaving an thin outline around it, the top layer of the rub-on sheet came off and I was left with a very thin but sturdy rub-on that I could peel away from its sheet and apply to my project.

So, I'd say that is the secret to salvaging "bad" rub-ons, if one wanted to. Brush a layer of Diamond Glaze onto the back of the rub-on sheet, let dry, then cut around the rub-on shape you want to use, and then let the top separate off to get a very thin sticker of your rub-on. You'll still need to brush on a top layer of Diamond Glaze once you have applied the rub-on, but this worked great. No breaks in the rub-on this way.

Well, now that I've solved this, what's next, world peace? LOL

Linda tagged me the other day and I need to do that tag quiz. So, here it is:

A: The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B: Each player answers the questions about themselves.
C: At the end of the post, the player then tag 3 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

10 years ago: I was 11 years married, Missy was 10, I was treasurer of the PTO at Missy's elementary school and a board member of her softball league, I had a bustling and growing tax and accounting biz, and we would be moving into a new home later in the summer while fixing up the old one..

Things on my to-do list today: I only keep 3 things on that list (and a long "When I Get to it" list on the side). Today's 3 things are: 1.shower 2.post office 3.bank deposit

What I would do if I were suddenly made a billionaire: provide Missy her dream college career, let Hubs retire immediately & travel to determine where we want to relocate to (based on our conversation yesterday, it may not be America).

3 of my bad habits:

3 places I have lived: Arkansas, Texas, Texas

5 jobs that I have had: library aide, accountant, teacher

5 Things people don't know about me: geez, I don't know that there are 5 things left LOL... 1. I almost drowned in a church camp swimming pool when I was 3; 2. My throat closes up when I eat shrimp, but I still eat it; 3. I like brussel sprouts; 4. I don't like corned beef; 5. I prefer the taste of diet coke to coke now.

I'm going to tag: Lida, Kim L, and KimKT.

weekend in a glaze

note: my fingers are all puffed out and aching so no caps for awhile...

my mom and i share a weird trait: we both sort of mangle certain words. she does it by mispronouncing them (kay-sette for cassette, woke for wok);I do it by merging two words about the same thing

the latest for-instance is the word glaze. you've heard, 'she walked around in a daze', right? and 'haze', as in 'hazy'. ok, then take it to 'laze', as in lazy. and finally, i must picture something coated on it like a glaze, i dunno. anyway, instead of haze or daze, i always say glaze. hence, my blog entry title. this weekend just went by in a glaze. lol

okay, can't be explained. not well, anyway.

i actually think i forgot to upload something here i did like 6 months ago, so i need to do it now, since i discovered it about a month ago and thought i'd uploaded it then...but i didn't. gosh, my mind is in a glaze, too. {sadly, it's this way most days, i just do a bang-up job of hiding it. lol}
this was done for round robin tag book, and i like it because it's the first time i've ever used an original poem of mine in my art. i really wanted to do a nice page for the recipient. never heard a who, what, when, where or why from them either. what i get for trying, i guess.
i'm reminded of something an art teacher in college said - 'never make art for anyone else. make it always just for yourself.'

my new motto.

Post #2 for Today (please don't die of shock...)

So, I'm back now from going to tell the others they've been tagged. You won't want to miss my first post, LOL, it's the tag quiz I took and then I tagged four more gals.

Okay, that's done. Here's another card I did for yet another sis-in-law:

I had lots of little scraps left over from making Kim's card, but I didn't want to make the same card so I varied it a bit. Plus, I have this thing, this procedure, for making my cards. I make half-sheet cards for my family, and quarter-sheet (A2) cards for everyone else and for notecards. (I would much rather make A2 sized for everyone, but I got my family spoiled on the bigger cards and can't change it now.)

So, being that this is a family card, I needed to make it larger. Luckily, the recipient won't know that Bella stamps are made pretty much for the A2 size cards. I do like how it turned out though. Gotta love the ancient scrapbooking paper lines. I'm pretty sure this one by Urban Lily is at least 3 years old, if not more.

I have 2 bro-in-law cards coming up to make next week. The fun never truly ends around Casa Miguel, ya know? {meow, LOL}

Next topic: Miss KimKT wins my thanks, via her comment she left about Wednesday's political post, for reminding me that I should probably explain why I can consider JFK to be barely above scum for his womanizing, yet I support for President the wife of another womanizer often held in esteem that hovers equally close to said scum.

Yes, it's a complicated thing, my beliefs. Yet, oh so simple. As much as I think Bill Clinton was stupider than scum, and as much as I've lately been wishing she would have divorced his ass back in the day, the plain and simple answer is that I don't blame or punish Hillary for any of that. And conversely, JFK doesn't get a pass for his vile behaviors just because Bill had his schwang sucked off in the Oval Office.

See, I support Hillary even though I know full well she may not make it to the finish line. She's already had to start loaning her campaign money. The end may well be near unless more donations roll in. I sent her $50 Tuesday night, a paltry sum indeed, but it was all Hubs would agree to, with more later if she lasts and if I clear it after tax season.

With me, it's about what I feel is the right thing to do. Maybe it's my age. I'm going to vote for her, even if the primary is the first and last time I can do that. With me, it involves making a promise to an 8-yr old girl who received a signed letter from First Lady Hillary Clinton and a signed letter from Gov. Ann Richards, both in the same week. The girl was and still is my Missy. She was interested back then in being President and wrote a series of essays that received some attention. It was then that I promised the support I give today.

Yeah, I know the Far Right Limbaugh-heads think she is the devil reincarnated, but I think the same thing about Karl Rove and totally believe I'm right, so they must think they are, too. I just know that this woman, for all her faults, endured what can only be considered the most henous episode of Jerry Springer ever created, to a world-wide audience, where she went from being the loyal little trooper on the Today Show, defending Bill, to utter humiliation, anger, rage, betrayal, hurt, embarrasment, you name it. Again, all played out like it was Desperate Housewives on our televisions.

And yet she did not file for divorce. She did not shrink from the Earth's surface. In a sort of even-more humiliating irony, she actually did become like Tammy Wynette Standing By Her Man (reference to the 60 Minutes interview in 1992). She picked herself up and started a new chapter to her life that revolved around what she wanted to achieve, finally, after all those years of supporting Bill and being overshadowed by him.

Tuesday night, the exit polling showed that Democrats, whether they voted for her or not, clearly and overwhelmingly believe they see her as Commander in Chief more than Obama, and I think it's because of the same traits and the same character that got her through all of that which did not kill her so it made her stronger, tougher.

So, after all she has been through, I am just not going to make her pay by abandoning her just because it might be a tougher fight in the general campaign with her as the nominee. That's just not honorable or right. (And, that's if we believe the Republican talking heads, which I don't...to my mind, Obama makes the much easier target to defeat, since his victory depends on almost 100% of the black vote, that same black vote that Rove & Co love to disenfranchise so covertly and effectively during elections. And hey, if there was a black baby in John McCain's past, can a white love child be in Obama's future? Only Karl knows, but I'm willing to bet that he would never be truthful about who the easier candidate to beat would be. Wouldn't be prudent. So when he or his little surrogates say they would love their opponent to be Hillary, I don't believe them for one minute.)

I realize that going with her is the tougher road to hoe to the nomination, because of the perception that the media has made it impossible not to wonder about. Frankly, I consider supporting Obama to be taking the easier route. I mean, here's ya some Change, some real and detailed Change if you're up to it: someone needs to take Karl Rove out, once and for all, or Obama's rhetoric about a more civil politic will never ever ever ever happen.

And, who better, who more qualified, who more eager, who more due, than Hillary to do that, in perhaps the most epochal struggle of our time. It's dirty work indeed, but to think we can just send in Obama to stand up to Rove and.... and do what exactly? ... well, that's just either really naiive or really not thought through.

In my opinion. And I told you my beliefs were complicated. Hey, I often wish I could just take that easier path, write Hillary off and join the Cool Kids Coalition. It's not like I haven't been swayed by a smooth talker before, because I have. And it's not like I haven't voted for a black man before, because I have. Both in the same candidate: 1988 Texas Primary, Jesse Jackson. I'm still proud of that vote. He was the only one making any sense! But he wouldn't have made that great a President, I realized that later.

We are fixing to hit some bad times, my friends, and I want a President in there who is half Margaret Thatcher, half Tracy Flick, battle-scarred and battle-tested. The Vice President can make speeches and teach us about the urgency of now, while he gets him some battle scars of his own to campaign with next time around.

Tomorrow starts my kick-off countdown to Valentine's Day, where I will try to have some kind of heart-y crafty eye candy to show every day. Maybe every day. Try to every day...

Tagged & I'm It

Thank you so much, Katy, for tagging me. Here goes:

1. You must post the rules before you give your answers.
2. You must list one fact about yourself for each letter of your middle name. Each fact must begin with that letter.
3. If you don't have a middle name, just use your maiden name.
4. After you've been tagged, you need to up-date your blog with your middle name and answers.
5. At the end of your post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and need to read your blog for details).

My middle name is Elizabeth (but that's way too long for this, so I'm using Beth).

B - Before graduating from college in 1978 with a degree in accounting, I had previously majored in art and in journalism.
E - Every four years I get a real birthday cuz I'm a Leap Year Baby.
T - The last Starbucks coffee I had was a Skinny Mocha Latte.
H - Heaven on Earth to me is a foot and leg massage.

Okay, I'm tagging:
Kacy
Kim L.
Linda
Barbara

I hope I did that right. It took forever to track down the people who have already been tagged, which is why I used Beth and limited it to four.

I have to go tell them they are tagged. Be back with the rest of my post laterz.....

To Catch You Up

It's been forever since I posted any art, so until my memory card returns, I remembered I had never shown this piece, done last year for a round robin tag book.
here is another piece making it's maiden blog appearance. No telling how many things aren't uploaded in my computer...

I've been avoiding my blog. A lot of stuff's been going on this week and while I am proud of myself for dealing with it well enough, I've generally been trying different ways to get away from it all, too. Maybe I was just waiting until I knew how I felt, I dunno.

Have you ever had a series of shocks, little tremors really, hit you all in a week? Each one on its own should be conquerable, and you try. But at some point the multiple hits make it all just a huge bummer?

I know there are many people out there going through truly horrid crap, some with no good outcome at all. I think of those faceless people I don't know, and my own ambivalence and sorrow seems really self-centered. So, I just deal and let it all slumber under the surface.

Life never sleeps, it seems. And as if the big overriding themes of each event weren't enough, little sharp, painful everyday details have been sticking me like a cactus. This week, I came to the realization...no, possibility, still, I'm still in denial...that this week could be my life, the rest of my life.

My Father-in-law has the stage 4 lung cancer, as I've mentioned. Being the silly, sheltered gal that I am, I hadn't looked at the situation and extrapolated it out into the future. My mother-in-law doesn't drive. Now, maybe being the first generation American-born child of Catholic Czech immigrants, from a family of 11, has something to do with it. Most people are molded by their upbringing and background, no matter how we seem to not want to accept that.

She is and always has been a subservient sort of wife: good housekeeper, cook, mother. She never worked outside the home and thus never drove, I guess. She wears thick coke-bottle glasses and doesn't admit to being hard-of-hearing, either. So, who knows why she doesn't drive, but it makes it very difficult nowadays.

F-I-L did all the grocery shopping, but now he can't drive due to being on so much pain medication. They're both 79. He's becoming more and more a really royal pita, because his meds and treatment, as well as his advancing Parkinson's, is all exacerbating his moodiness and tendency to bark orders and cruel jokes. Not to mention his selfishness, from being waited on hand and foot his entire marriage, is getting really aggressive. In short, he is changing personalities before our very eyes. A personality that we all knew lurked within him but one he managed to control, until now.

I don't remember if I'd ever come right out and blogged this, but I was really making progress forging a closer relationship with M-I-L. Now, I guess that's just in time for all this. She has been reacting to her husband's change by first denying it, then griping about it but denying anything could be done about it. I began to figure out that she was still waiting for him to make all the decisions, even about this, about himself.

Well, so I had to tell her, and I did, once. And she made some baby steps, but I'm going to have keep telling her, as the situations call for it. But she's awfully clingy, and I'm sure she's lonely, scared, and feeling alot like I am times 100.

It's like one moment I want to try to dig out my pain, then it reminds me of others' worse pain and I feel really guilty for having any pain. How unworthy of me. I've even tried on and off to model Ruth from the Bible. I'm pretty sure it would be some comfort, if Ruth was schizophrenic.

Ok, so I've been driving them to his radiation. It's like an all-day thing, because I have to double back to pick them up and it makes the driving ridiculously long. It's down in Clear Lake at an MD Anderson satellite facility, and there's a Starbucks right around the corner. Now, I've never been into the whole Starbucks thing, but it has become a treat I give myself. I let them off, then head there. By the time I've gotten my skinny mocha latte, they are ready to leave. Works out good.

So, did I mention they have 5 kids? Funny thing, okay one of them lives at home and is mentally retarded due to complications in the birth canal. She works at a school cafeteria, but doesn't drive or go anywhere alone. That leaves Hubs and 3 siblings. His brother lives in Dallas, so now we are down to Hubs and 2 sisters. Both sisters live about the same distance way that we do, 15 miles or so, but they play this sick game of chicken when it comes to helping out with this. And they are and always have been a noncommunicative family. I mean, they can chit and chat up a storm, but tell someone how they are really feeling about really personal stuff? Ha.

So, I can't tell if they are all in shock over their dad, but they act like they are annoyed and go ahead and kick already. They have lives. So, guess who is getting stuck not only with taxi, but also with phone calls whenever something is weird?

Sometimes I'm the only one who has any compassion for them. Sometimes I wonder if this is how kids turn out if you raise them that sternly and you don't express feelings. They are like, hey, he'll get through it and he can hire someone to do all that.

Okay, so enough about that. The helpers get narrowed down this week to only Hubs and his teacher sister, because the youngest sister's husband got diagnosed with melanoma that has spread to his lungs, abdomen and back. And they've known for awhile but told us this week.

This is the inlaw that I most enjoy, so I'm really bummed about it. But I can't even be comletely Ruth-y about it, because I'm also highly annoyed that now she can't help take care of her parents and spread the load.

Getting the angel/devil trauma I'm experiencing? Here's the third layer. They say these things run in 3's. My mom calls me last Monday to tell me they found a suspicious spot on her lung xray done for a physical. She's really torn up. We both are, but somehow I'm trying to be calm until the doctor calls back and tells her something. Well, we wait all week and no phone call. Thursday she goes back in there and tells them how unhappy she is about having to wait that long to be told yes or no.

Apprently she is pretty bitchy and threw a fit, because that evening they call my dad and tell him both of them are being dropped by the doctor, due to my mom's behavior upsetting other patients. So, here we'll be one week tomorrow and she still knows nothing and now has no doctor. There's another stupid thing they've done and I'm powerless to help.

So, this brings up what I've been trying to suppress for 3 years: I'm immensely angry at times at my parents to hauling off and moving 600 miles away. And then getting ill and old. It's been very hard for me to deal with the anger, so I've just been pushing it down. Now, I'm having to caretake my inlaws, something I should be doing for my own parents. I'm telling you sometimes I don't even know what horrible naughty feeling to feel. I just know it should be one I should feel guilty about. And, I'm pissed about that.

Well, I got the jist of it out.Does it help me feel better? Not yet. Maybe later. I guess one good thing is you know where my head is at. I may not be Ruth or Florence Nightingale, but I do feel I should get a couple of rah's for not totally succumbing to the dark side of my behaviors.

Hopefully now you also understand why I'd think, hey, this might be what the rest of my life's gonna be like. I think that bums me out the most. Terrible to think, I know, but it doesn't make it go away.

Hey on a good note, Missy has my camera memory card and will bring it home with her next time she's here. I didn't even ask her how or why it ended up with her. I just decided to be grateful. I'm not totally rotten. ;-)

King-size Reflections

{Sigh} This post is not easy for me to write, but I've wanted to tell it for 2 years now around this time of year and haven't yet, so I'm just gonna type it and blame it on the D/B/Sh/Care thing.

I may be White and pretty segregated in my daily life and surroundings, but in my own way, I've been touched by the legacy of Martin Luther King and what he stood for. I was born in 1956 in a segregated world and I can remember America as it lurched and heaved and turned toward racial justice. It was a long time ago and, although those times have been greatly romanticized, I can tell you, they were not pretty.

When Hillary Clinton said that it took LBJ to help MLK's dream come true, I knew exactly what she was saying and she was right. LBJ was the last of the old school strong-arm Congressional power brokers. He could blackmail or cajole almost more people than FBI Chief J Edgar Hoover, and that's exactly how he got Civil Rights legislation passed. Why spend that much political currency and destroy his political party as he knew it? Because there was an American Ghandi in the person of MLK to inspire him to do it. And because he had parents who'd taught him it was the right thing to do.

Some folks nowadays like to think that all whites were against desegregation, but that is so not true. My father, for example, grew up in a small college town in Central Arkansas during the Depression in a nice middle class home wanting for nothing as so many others around him had very little. His father was the Postmaster and my Dad remembers his Dad routinely put half his wages into savings every payday...that's how comfortable their life was. Yet, their good Methodist faith compelled them to help those less fortunate throughout those years.

My Dad's first year in college was lived still at home and financed by his many odd and part time jobs, one of which was delivering mail. His Dad made sure this hiring was above reproach by assigning my Dad to deliver the mail out to the Colored community on the outskirts of town. He told my Dad sternly, though, that he was to treat all his customers as well as if they were his own kin or he'd have hell to pay.

My paternal Grandfather was made of that old-time stock of men who considered public service a sacred trust and earned every penny with a smile and then some. My Dad was raised in a home where the N word was never allowed to be spoken. It was considered a cuss word, among the worst. One time my grandmother washed the mouth of my dad's little friend out with lye soap because he'd uttered it after being read the house rules.

So, my Dad carried that mail cheerfully and loyally and punctually to all the people of color in the community that year. In return, my Dad said, he never ever needed a cold drink or a chair to sit a spell in for rest, nor a clean, crisp handerchief to wipe his brow. Ice was meticulously saved for him for an offered glass of water at almost every house. He was always greeted and cared about. We're talking 30-40 people every day, offering him food and drink, just for delivering their mail to them with respect and courtesy. My Dad never forgot that. You wouldn't forget it either.

A few years later, my parents having met and moved to my Mother's hometown to teach school, it was a different and uglier world, still in Arkansas but on the eastern side. My Mother's parents were raised to be racist and were very good decent people, just raised to *know* that whites were the superior race and that the good whites among us took the responsibility to look out for and counsel the Negro. And they did use the *N* word, all the time, like any other word.

My Dad hated it. Hated hearing it. It really wore on him, especially after I was born. He began wishing for me a world without all that racism. Without hearing that *N* word all the time, at the very least.

So, even though my parents had it good where they were, as my Mom's parents were quite wealthy and provided whatever was needed or wanted, they set out to move to a place less racist and nasty, so that I could have a chance to grow up without all that influence toward continuing racism, and my parents could quit hearing that word and could quit being urged by society to be racist. It's probably up to a higher power than me to say whether my parents were successful, but I think they were.

And they weren't alone. They were many many whites who were ashamed of their fellow whites, ashamed of the double standard, ashamed of the fear and denial imposed by segregation and racism. These folks were all waiting for MLK to meetup with LBJ and do the deal. Without these folks, not even LBJ could have gotten that bill passed, or admonish the nation to act charitably and humbly about it, as he did.

That part of this history gets forgotten, especially by those who weren't even alive to remember it. But it's every bit as crucial to King's legacy as anything else. Because those whites were touched and empowered by King's words to do what was in their hearts. Including a nice teacher couple from Arkansas who just wanted a life for their daughter free from racism.

So yeah, that's what I always reflect upon on this holiday. Thanks, Mom and Dad. And LBJ. And Martin Luther King.

Will It Be This Week?

...that it snows here?

LOL, just kidding. I know it won't, and I really don't want it to, as people just go wacko whenever it snows. That's a photo of the eastern sky this morning, taken on my back porch. Tres cloudy. The sun is usually blinding me, but not today. Hovering around 40 degrees, and I'm feeling very lucky. My heart goes out to you all enduring the below freezing weather, ugh!

Ok, back to what my title meant..."Will It Be This Week?"
...that I do everything I've planned for it?

I highly doubt it. Seeing as I plan way more than I realistically can do, that is. So, another new, fresh week for me to screw up, LOL. Dangit, why do I do that to myself?

I was thinking about that this weekend. Little things that set our moods, expectations, ways we judge ourselves (fairly or not so much) when we're not even looking. And ways we react without even fully ingesting what we are reacting to.

Heavy stuff. But here's my case in point before your eyes glaze over in utter confusion, lol. When Hubs and I got married, he already owned a home. He'd bought it with his first wife and kept it in the divorce.

And, it did not have a dishwasher, which I noticed right off the bat because I'd never lived without one. Even when I was a baby, we had one that rolled out and hooked up to the kitchen sink. No way was I gonna start living with one now, right? It was 1987, after all.

The week before our wedding, he took me to Conn's, had me pick one out, and then bought it, remarking, "Here's your wedding present."

Well, I thought he was trying to be funny. That was a joke, right? Uh, no, it wasn't. I decided to not make any drama over it, but I remember being a little insulted and just wrote it off to eccentric behavior on his part.

Now, from my first visit to Hub's parents' house, I knew his mom did not have a built-in dishwasher. She had the kind we had when I was a freakin' baby, except that her machine was not as old as I was by a long shot. I refrained from asking any questions as I didn't want to appear rude.

All these years go by, and I'm still just writing it off to eccentric behavior being genetic, okay? Cuz to my mind, no one in their right mind lives without a nice dishwasher, a built-in dishwasher.

This weekend, Hubs and I are talking about our new dishwasher and how I forget it's new and more modern and improved than the one we had for 10 years prior (the one after my wedding present one, which stayed in the house when we sold it in 1998). How I just automatically treat it like the old one, even though the new one is lots more powerful, yadayada.

Well, I make a quip about it being my third wedding present, and that hurts Hubs' feelings. I'm like, confused and ask him to explain.

Turns out, he had bought that first dishwasher for me as a sincere gesture of bigheartedness, because he was raised to be dead-set against them as a general rule.

"After all," he said, "my mom had to wait 20 years to get one."

Well, that just floored me. Not only did Hubs genuinely believe he was giving me more than his dad had given his mom, and a heckuva lot sooner, but I'd never even realised it! And, he'd never even realised that being against having a dishwasher wasn't even a belief he really wanted to own at all.

I swear, if O. Henry'd been sittin' there, he'd have had a new story line. It's just funny, we really do learn something new every day. LOL

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Hey, I have another layout on Scrap the Girls. I say this because you can, too. It just has to be a girl layout. It can be your child, but it can also be you or your mom or sister or friend. They want their readers to send them layouts. It's more like a reader's gallery than submitting and competing and all that crap that I avoid. So, if you visit that blog and believe in spreading your scrap love around, send them a few of your fave layouts about girls. You need to read the post to see what file size and where to send them, so check it out!
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Doesn't that look delish? Don't worry - it was. Food by Hubs, presentation by me. Another funny story here: he told me we were having mahi mahi. Now, call it a sixth sense, but something told me to ask him how he was cooking it. He was going to blacken it. I don't care for his blackened foods, but I'd never told him that. Now I was going to have to fess up, which I did. He got a little ticked, but begrudgingly said, well, I'll fry it in batter then.

Later, I go to make my plate for dinner, and what do I find? Pan-fried blackened fish. {Sigh}. He's just lucky it was delish, that's all I'm sayin...
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Now, what about this dish? It's called Simple Chicken and Sausage Gumbo. You can get the recipe HERE. This is a fave dish at Hub's workplace, and their food rivals any fire house, okay? If you are in the mood for gumbo, this is it.
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Did you ever know a dog that watched football? Our Reggie does. Here he is, catching the games yesterday with Hubs. I don't think Reggie knows how to yell at the refs, but when Hubs does, Reg starts howling. So, maybe I'm wrong...
Anyway, we've been trying to pay a lot of attention to Reggie and he's been lapping it up. I might pay a hefty sum to know what he's thinking. If he's missing Sheila, or even wonders where the heck she is. I know I'll never know this, but still, intriguing questions.

I do notice that he spends a LOT more time in the doghouse now. Granted, it's winter and cold, and that's where the space heater is. I will be curious to see if he continues once the weather warms. We always wondered if Sheila kicked him out of there, since we'd often find him outside when he was supposed to be sleeping...
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The 2peas blogger challenge for today asks: "If you set a New Years Resolutions, how are you doing with it?"

Well, I did not make any per se, but my WordQuad (Dare-->Bare-->Share-->CARE) implies my resolutions, since I'm trying to do more of those 4 things. And so far, I have:
1)dared to go through my "nice" dressy clothes and part with some outfits that I frankly looked silly in but had to have because the model looked great in it. I bared and tried them on first and looked in the mirror, I suppose to hope in vain that I didn't look silly, LOL. Anyway, I shared by donating them to charity when they called for home pickups. Gonna try to do that every time they call, til I get rid of all the silly stuff, and because I care.
2)Yeah, not gonna go thru the words in each case...that one above was just to show the process...I sent my layouts to Scrap the Girls, cuz they asked for them.
3) I've been keeping in touch with my IRL girlfriends more, as well as our couple friends.

Each of these have been conscious efforts, where my first response was not to bother. So, it's a beginning.

the details were sketchy, at best....

[[[note to readers: my fingers are feeling their arthritic pain today, so as few shift-key strokes as possible are called for and it's all lower case for me. hope you don't mind. just making the " and the ! etc. are painful today. suck-ville. oh, well, i *will* not let it keep me from writing, since writing to express myself is as essential to me (almost) as breathing...]]]

My AEDM for 11/7
...felt good to get a sketch under my belt again, haven't done one in so long. i did this while watching tv. i'd seen a woman who was laying on her side talking and fighting falling asleep, and it just stuck in my head. I thought the camera angle was interesting...it made her hair seem like it was floating on air, so I kinda exaggerated that in my sketch....

[[[note to file: put a digital frame around the web images of sketches i show in the future. white background axiom #1,445 and all.]]]]

and, i hope you like my sketching. what do you think? it isn't exactly a 30-minute art meal for me, but it is a way for me to get some daily art done. I studied art in college as a minor to my writing/journalism major, back in the ancient day, before changing to the more "practical" discipline of accounting. in my junior year, i had an epiphany of sorts and suddenly became bent on having my degree be something i could count on to financially support me for the rest of my life. that was a wise move because accounting did pay my bills well during my decade as a single career woman, and it has provided me with a lucrative way to work at home for almost 20 years now.

but i never lost my "first loves" of writing and art-ing, and that's why i turned to them, and re-discovered them, when i was diagnosed with the 5 arth's. it's all made me realize that i never chose wrong in college; there's just a time and season for everything. turn, turn, turn, etc.

oh, wanted to give an update on my online shopping credit-due story from earlier: i was credited that shipping amount to my paypal and the order has been shipped. i dodged the bullet on this one, i think. i rarely shop at smaller online stores anymore, and this experience does not help. i do have a cadre of smaller stores that i've bought from for a few years now, having gotten to know their owners and benefit ted from the great customer service that can result. i try to support that. but it's getting harder to. this spring's shipping increases were especially tough on that, but i do still try.

i really ought to share my short list of smaller stores with you, because many of you have expressed fear and trepidation in shopping online, and these places are worthy of your trust. i'll work up a list for tomorrow's blog entry.

well, my nice and cute dishwasher guy jose is here, so i need to wrap this up here and get my supplies out and ready to clean up after he finishes. his work today has been a bit messy, lots of water on my floor from the dishwasher-on-loan when he pulled it out, i guess from the hose. anyway, looks like my floor is getting mopped today, oh joy.

have a great evening!

Happy Boo-Day Tricks & Treats!

What Your Choice of Halloween Candy Says About You
~~Begin excerpt~~

The Washington Post has examined the all-important issue of what kind of Halloween candy you give out to trick-or-treaters says about you. Steve Almond, the author of Candyfreak: A Journey Through the Chocolate Underbelly of America), provided the in-depth psychological personality type treat analysis, based on....well, we're not exactly sure what he based it on. But we totally agree with his statement in his book:
"There's something incredibly liberating about a holiday that encourages children to take candy from strangers," Almond writes of Halloween in his book. Indeed. For some reason, Almond asked that we make clear that he is a "professional candyfreak, not a therapist."
Read on to find out what message you're sending to your neighbors:
Three Musketeers: Does well in groups but is somewhat pompous. Prone to fancy costumes and arcane weapons. Wears hats in public that are ill-advised.
Almond Joy: I'm going to put aside my aversion to coconut in praising these folks as happy-go-lucky.
Bit-O-Honey: They have contradictory personalities, hoping to express generosity but also having the passive-aggressive desire to damage the fillings of trick-or-treaters.
Butterfinger: Evasive, slippery, not necessarily to be trusted.
Candy Corn: Purely deluded people. They don't get that candy shouldn't attempt to imitate other food groups, particularly corn.
Good and Plenty: Optimistic, perhaps overly so. A little bit of Weimar energy. Strong advocate of gay rights; acquainted with the bitterness at the center of most lives.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: Generous souls. Those who understand the salty in life, as well as the sweet.
Snickers: Just going with the crowd, the safe candy choice, guaranteed to please the masses. Not ambitious, but dependable.
You can see the full chart with more analysis of your inner psyche, completely horrifying calorie counts and then vote on your favorite treat to hand out here. A word of advice, though: whatever you do, don't give out Twizzlers. They'll peg you as one of the "Sickos. Truly demented. Plastic people living plastic lives."

~~End excerpt~~

My personal pick: Tootsie Roll Pops (she said, silently thankful they didn't analyze that one....).

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~~~~~~~~~BOO!~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~The Ghosts of Halloween Past~~
Both the 2peas bloggers QOTD and the AARPeas QOTW are basically the same topic: memories of Halloween as a child / growing up / yadayada. Well, I'm going to remember back 19 years today, to our first Halloween as a family. Hubs and I got dressed up, too, because we gave a party that night for family and friends.

Here's little Missy in her very first costume: a pink puppy dog with her own matching pink puppy dog. Hubs was snapping the photos (look out), and he didn't think to give her the stuffed animal, so she's looking kind of forlorn. So we give her the toy and she's like, what the heck is this? Third shot: Mom to the rescue. This perks her up and she's all shines. Looks like she's reacting to me telling her a dirty joke or something. I think I said something like, aren't you the cutest thing...probably the same way the mom in the V-8 commercial tells her kid she's having a french fry, yes she is, before the kid bops her one. Whoa, was I lucky there...LOL

This photo is of Hubs. Pirates were hothothot for grown-ups back then, too. I think he wore that costume for about 5 or 6 Halloweens before finally getting tired of it. Personally, I think he just liked wearing the makeup, what do you think? LOL

Finally, we have me. (Please be kind.) My mom made the yellow clown suit, so I kinda had to wear it to please her. And both my mom and my dad were clowns, too, but they only stayed about 30 minutes at the party, after scarring Missy for life with fear (who ARE those people WAAAAAAA!)(I waited until after putting her down for the night to transform myself). Anyway, that wig got really uncomfortable as the night wore on, but how 'bout those cheeks, huh? LOL

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~~~~~~~~~BOO!~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Tomorrow I start a brand new challenge! You may have notice my new icon on the sidebar (top): Art Every Day Month. To find out about it, you can click on the link I show for signing up (you can just read what it's all about there, too).

I love Leah's quiet determination, dedication, and talent. I've seen her go for ages creating one thing every day without fail, and that amazes me. Anyway, it's really low pressure/stress and I can even count cooking if I need to. (ok, I was going to say a poop, but that would have been too gross, right? LMAO)

So, I thought it would be worth it to help me rev up for holiday gift-making. And tomorrow is Day One, so go out and scare people, eat candy, make yourself sick, and I'll see ya tomorrow!

Here's Where I Explain

Still on the Line, Still Doin' Fine
So, anyway, I found a You Tube video of Glen Campbell performing "Witchita Lineman" on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour back in 1967 or so, and I proudly offer it for your enjoyment. Think back to a more innocent and simpler time with less expectation, and you'll be fine. I love to listen to it.

I was watching Nightline last night and Annie Lennox was on there talking about her playlist (a segment where they asked famous musicians what's on their playlist of all time). Interesting choices, I thought. Aretha of course, the Beatles, Bob Marley, Joni Mitchell. All so worthy. The songs of theirs that she chose I thought to be a bit different (her Beatles tune for instance was "I am the Walrus", not ever on my list.).

But she floored me with her choice of Glen Campbell for "Wichita Lineman". O My God. Could she have been any closer to my memories of growing up than if she lived with us? You see, my parents and I are all Arkansas-born as is Glen, so when he hit the scene as a main act (having spent many years pickin' for recording greats prior to his big solo break) with that song and with "By the Time I Get to Phoenix", well, let's just say he made a huge stir. He was such a presence and a great guitar player and such a smooth voice. And polite and cute.

Uh, this was the mid-60's, people. Didn't take much for an image back then.

Anyway, Annie starts singing it a capella and gorgeously, so I had to google it myself. My mom had a crush on Glen like nobody's biz, although not one as intense as her crush on Elvis back when he first came out in the 50's (she was not a fan of the bloated and sequined Elvis). Frankly, I think she a crush on the pelvis, but I'll never know cuz she's not confessing.

Anyway, Glen's album and that song played on our stereo for hours each day. I knew "Lineman" like the back of my hand. And I took a liking to him, too, especially since we got to see him so much on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour (one of my passions).

But, as all things go, the dark ugliness of ravaging time needs an ear, too. Sad to say, this next video is Glen many moons and many more fifths of whiskey later, with the Stone Temple Pilots. He manages to pull it off, but it ain't quite the same, is it?



And that brings me to how the Different Drummer (that's moi) can beat her own beat and support the Music (that's you out there who are my online friends who do choose to pursue publication and design team spots).

I'm very proud and happy for my friends when they achieve accomplishments of that sort. Rachael blogged this week about seeing her layout in Scrapbooks Etc. Magazine, and I'm thoroughly thrilled for her, posted as much on her blog. Kim has been selected for the Memory Purses team for the holidays (and why not permanently, is what I think, frankly). I also posted congrats. Noelia had her art cards lifted for the Member Inspiration at 2peas by a Garden Girl! How awesome! And I left her some praise, too.

Just wanted to put that out there, to avoid any misunderstanding. What I wrote yesterday was about me only, and why I can't march to that beat. Your mileage may vary, though, and viva la difference!

Freestyle Friday

Sorry I'm late to the gate today. I've been having trouble deciding on a topic, all morning. Yes no yes no. Maybe. LOL

I just gave up and decided to catch up on the blog reading I was behind on, and now I have enough of a topic gameplan.

Lynn had a good challenge from 2peas on hers. The gist of it is, share four things about yourself that make you the person you are today as a creator/artist. Lynn's answers were pretty dang good, too. I am similar to her, it turns out, on a couple of them:

1. Like Lynn, I love color! It's what first grabs me visually, with anything.
(I also am a procrastinator -- and I work slowly, deliciously so, I love to dwell in my creativity, it gives me pleasure, and I love variety and trying new things, too. But I'm going to try to think of 3 other things about me that she didn't mention per se, so as to not be a total jackstress of her ideas, LOL)

2. I'm a noncomformist. Been thinking about that trait in me lately. I was at Mackey's blog, where I contemplated it again. More about it later, but I think that trait in me has been what has kept me from playing into the whole design team and publication route during my time in that little world. So much conforming required, unless you are touched by luck. Because I'm not prone to conformity, I've been compelled to create originally, which most of the time means it's something you're not likely to see elsewhere but not necessarily cutting edge or what the majority would like. Oh well, glad those things I don't do are not a job requirement, LOL.

3. My tendency is to be a perfectionist and I fight that every day of my life. I fight it because it's so dang limiting. I have made progress, in that every thing I create has at least one flaw and usually several, and I keep going with it and just punt (figure out how to cover it or work around it). I don't think I've ever created anything that was perfectly done, and now I'm so used to punting that I am getting used to it. For a perfectionist, that's real progress, LOL.

4. I favor form and function. It's the practical teachers' kid in me, having been raised that way. I often joke that if I won the lotto, most of it would be saved because I just don't have it in me to spend it all. Too thrifty. I think that is why I packrat stuff. Why buy something when you can packrat it for later use? When I look at altered art creations, the ones I'm really drawn to are not only beautiful but practical, useful. I have very few things that are just purely pretties.

The Different Drummer

I've had times in my life when I had to conform, and when I did it, I did it well. The accounting profession is not one for sticking out and doing your own thing. It's all about conforming to the theories, the processes, the consistent steps. And after almost 30 years, I know what I know like the back of my hand. It actually comforts me to do it when I'm in the work groove. Think Rainman here, I'm not kidding! LOL Well, okay, I'm not autistic, but accounting is so one, two, three, one, two, three, that it almost makes me feel like a number (Seger fans, Unite!) That's one side of my personality and brain. Then, there's the creative side, which I never knew I had until about 5 years ago. I've always been a good writer, but to me that was more analytical and cerebral, thinking; not messy, chaotic, feeling.

It wasn't until I got into scrapbooking and ATC's and altered art that I realized their artistic connections to writing, and that I could indeed be both right and left brained. I am left-handed in a right-handed world, and therefore I'm already trained to be ambi-brained. And it goes back a ways. Even as a child, my highest aptitudes were always math and English. And in college, I really wanted to major in accounting and minor in art, but they wouldn't really let me do that. They were right - what do you do with that combo, anyway? LOL I settled for minoring in marketing with an emphasis in writing. Face it, I was all over the board. And always have been. Too many things fascinate me.

One thing about getting older is getting comfortable in your own skin, and that's where I think my noncomformist ways have helped. Now or never, ain't no dress rehearsal, real deal. So, why not be me? I've been real lucky to have a loving Hubs who indulges me and lets me do my own thing. And since I'm such a thrifty soul, I can do it without breaking the bank. I think it hurts me though, when it comes to losing weight and stopping smoking. Conforming to societal standards are huge motivators for modifying those behaviors, and I don't bite on them. Mine will have to come from within me. The weight loss has been happening because I truly want to more than I want to taste delicious food, but the cigarette is still too enjoyable.

Anyway, there have been times in my past when I resented and even hated my nonconformist tendencies, but I'm glad to now be able to embrace it at this point.

Like the man said, I yam what I yam, and what I'm not, I don't got. LOL, have a good Friday, everybody!

Thanks for the Memories

I just had to copy and paste this post I made over at 2peas this morning. I went down Memory Lane (child of the 50's and 60's) for a pea who was doing a book of me about her own childhood and I ended bookmarking that thread because so many peas my age replied and here I was thinking I was the oldest living pea, LOLOL.
Here's what I posted:
"I'm a 1956 baby. I remember most of what everyone has already posted and I only had time to skim, but off the top of my head, memories of my childhood years (and apologies if it's already been listed):

*Captain Kangaroo every morning

*Malto Meal for breakfast

*My dolls were Chatty Cathy and Tiny Tears

*Jewelry boxes with the ballerina who twirled to music when you opened it

*Saving your money in first a real china piggy bank you had to smash to get the money out of, and later a Thing battery-operated bank (from the Addamms Family tv show) - it would grab the coin from you.

*Bolting out the door in the morning and not returning home until you were hungry or it was dark-thirty.

*Schwinn bicycles, often with a wire basket, horn, mirror and back fender you could haul your friend around on

*going to private kindergarten because there was no public

*huge big-sister-type crushes at one time or another on Annette Funicello, Patty Duke, Hayley Mills...and just aching to be Ann Marie (Marlo Thomas) when I grew up!


*Playing Chinese jump rope in the 4th grade before school, or jacks (huge!), marbles, checkers, hula hoops, metal skates you strapped on with a key - you lost that key, you were dead

*having to talk on the hall telephone and only for a few minutes (party line and only one phone in the whole house - finally got my own phone extension for 8th grade)

*Keds and PF flyer tennis shoes and that was it, and the ankle socks with the big-ass furry balls on the heel

*mercurachrome on scrapes and cuts .. finally they came out with Bactine spray

*getting whipped or popped or spanked for any little thing

*Go go boots, Bobby helmets, mini-skirts, fishnet hose, Mary Quant, Bonnie Bell make-up, beauty shop perms that made your scalp sting for days and stank too

*shaving your legs for the first time with your dad's double edged razor (there was nothing else), and of course cutting yourself good (I stupidly wiped the blade off with my thumb, ouch)

*I was in 2nd grade when JFK was assassinated; my dad came to get me at school. Everyone and everthing was just at a stop and in shock.

*Exercising to Jack LaLanne on tv at 6:30 every morning


*Charter member of the original Mickey Mouse Club

*Charter member of the Beatles fan club

*Only diet drinks were Tab and Fresca


*American Bandstand on TV

*camping out at the 7-11 to buy Tiger Beat and Teen magazines every month

*The year that Man from U.N.C.L.E. and Time Tunnel were both on tv at the same time - so unfair (no VCR's)

*Straightening my hair by wrapping it it around my head or rolling on orange juice concentrate cans.

*Drying my hair under a beauty shop type dryer (no handhelds yet)

*Wearing hose with garter belts until sometime in junior high (pre-pantyhose)

*No pants allowed at school until I was a high school sophomore. "

Okay, I wanna go lve back then. Waaaa! It really was fun! And since the speas blogger challenge for today was do I subscribe to any kits?... And no I don't... then this "challenge" was so much more fun.

Thanks for all the advice
from yesterday's post. Reading all your comments and emails made me really think about it. I hadn't even considered that Diego might wig out and be violent. I plan to call Missy tonight and discuss the possibility, to develop a game plan, just in case.

Daily Card Trick
I picked this notecard to show cuz it kind of fits in with my girlhood memories. I used one of my Fiskars border punches (eeks, I have 6 of them, guess I went kinda overboard on those, but I'm going to use every one of them now cuz I had fun). I don't know if you can see, but I made the punch wave be parallel to the wave of text - cool, huh? I've started combining my artist trading card stash with my scrapbooking stash and coming up with these artsy kind of cards. And me likey, how about you? Since I just had to buy the entire Melissa Francis line of vintage diecut signs, I will probably be making these til Hell freezes over and they will call me the card lady because I'll be giving everyone I meet a card just to get rid of them all, LOLOLOL. Eeeewwww, hope that was a joke, eh?

Speaking of Punches
Yesterday for about an hour, I thought I was in the Twilight Zone. I keep my punches in one of those hanging clear vinyl pocket shoe keepers, and I was looking for my scalloped square punch -- a big honkin punch, highly visible -- but I was coming up short, no clues either. I went through the entire house, nothing. This went on for about 20-30 minutes, until it occurred to me that I'd just assumed what it looked like and I might be wrong. I was envisioning it as a Marvy Uchida punch. 5 minutes later I see it on a table in my craft room. It's a McGill punch, so my brain never registered it as the missing punch.

Scarey when it happens to ya. Plus, tonight, I called my doctor's lab results line for my blood test results and their instructions, and I entered the wrong number for my own SSN. That's a first, literally. Being an accountant, I am a numbers person and remember all of them. I suppose it might be all downhill from here and just a matter of time now before I lose it (what I feel like anyway).

Well, this lil dab'll do ya surely til tomrrow, LOL yathink? Have a great Hump Day!!!