Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Journeying back...

Can't say as I'm all the way back to normal (whatz dat?), but my evil twin seems to be leaving the building lately. I actually opened up this post template and began typing like I used to do. I can't tell ya how long it has seemed like it has been since I've felt like doing that.

I finally broke down and wrote some brutally honest letters to a microscopically small handful of same-aged friends, and got it all out. That helped so so much. If we've emailed, then you know who you are and I am so not worthy...thank you to the moon. I just needed to talk it out with others my own age.

If I haven't written you back, please know I will. You're probably younger. Some of my feelings involve the younger generations and since well jeez a good many of you who read me ARE in those generations I didn't want to say anything that would personally hurt anyone's feelings. There's no snubbing or anger here. I love you all too dearly. Just needed my space in a real bad way for awhile.

You may or may not know about me that I am a fervent disciple of the Generational History theory, and 2008 has frankly blown my mind with how militant the Democrat Party has become and how they've copied both Karl Rove's and Bill Clinton's original strategies. It's happening faster than it should, too, and I don't mean to alarm, but that's exactly what happened with the Civil War crisis. I can only say, read the book. It will change your life and all the fuzzy things will turn crystal clear.

For purposes of what I'm trying to explain without producing a 23-page discertation, according to the GenHist Theory:
Silent Gen: 1925-1942 (birth years)
Boomer Gen: 1943-1960
GenX Gen: 1961-1980
Millenial Gen: 1981-??? (too early to tell yet, but probably 1998)
Homeland Gen (my nickname): probably 1998-around 2016

I'll be honest, I still have some real issues. The political primaries and the way the generations have been pitted against each other and all the respect that has been missing elder gens like we had to do when we were younger, it still causes me troubled thoughts. It's so in-your-face all of a sudden (or in MY face, anyway).

But if it were just the political expression, there would be no problem. I could handle it. What happened for me was, it was as if I awoke and everything's been shaded that way. I should qualify that. Everything in my online world almost. Nothing in my In Real Life world (except the TV). So could it be any weirder?

Being honest again, part of it is that Gen X is trying to wrestle the power away from Boomers and I don't think they are ready yet, okay? Then again, what year was the oldest Boomer at 47? Hm, 1943 + 47 = 1990. So, okay, my bad. It's just, if Bill and Dubya was all the shot we got, that sucks. Seriously.

Anyway, it's been really tough for me to accept. And then, when I look to the places art-related I hang online, it's like I'd pay money to have somewhere that wasn't so damn competetive. Everybody has a design team and everyone is workin the merchandise, on their blogs, the message boards. Look, this essay says it much better than I can. That's pretty much how I feel about it, too. I just want an environment where we are all doing this insane silly hobby cuz we enjoy it and it records our memories. I don't want to know the ScrapDiva personally, or get her advice on what to think every day. I just wanna lift a cool technique or use of product, dammit. LOL Yup, I'm all about the sharing of ideas. I don't want to crush on any famousness. This is why I'm allergic to Oprah. Why I bitch and moan sometimes instead of portraying all sweetness and light. I already read too many Stepford bloggers.

So anyway, that's out. And it leads me to explain why I was fidgeting with the blog comments. Sometimes even that gets competitive, like shades of it. I'm just wanting to give it a rest for awhile. Time's too short, at least for me. But, turning them completely off was not my only option, as a friend pointed out to me. (Duh, Aimes). I've now turned them back on, but they will get sent to my email where I can read them and respond. I'm gonna try that and see if it makes me feel happy about it.

So, okay. I'm sick of talking about it now, LOL. Probably put off posting in part cuz I dreaded that. Anyway, I don't want to jinx it but I actually created some art last night. It's still in progress, but dang, my Muse was feared lost forever. So I am feeling very relieved I found her again.

I do have some shots of my progress on my craft room. I'm just gonna throw these up in bunches, random shots, to save time, but you'll get the idea. Here's my befores of this particular corner:

Now, you might be thinking, what's the problem? Looks pretty neat. Well, it is, but it's not accessible. Too much piling on of stuff. Need to access my stuff better.

Then this lovely section. That was supposed to be just for my two big paper cutters, believe it or not. Now, it's a pile for the die cuts I haven't opened yet or haven't found a good storage option for. Enough! Driving me nuts.

Ah, my totally out of control ribbon section. It was all wrapped around 8x11" chipboard sheets, but I spent most of this year switching it to hangers. It enjoyed a home in Missy's closet until she came home for the summer. So, I had to get another shelf, but I definitely can access them more this way. Now, if I can just use some of it! LOL

Well, okay, I am going to try to get back into this. Wednesdays has always worked best for me, so I'll try to continue weekly. Thanks for checking in.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Okay, so...

...I guess I'm back, sheesh. I must confess, I took a little staycay away from the blog, the computer, the TV. I got outa the blog habit and into some health-oriented habits. I've been rockin' them lately and really kind of hesitaant to go back to devoting all the time I do to this writing and posting and reading.

Then, I got emails wondering if I was okay, (and thanks for thinking of me!). Turns out the blog entry I thought I'd posted almost 3 weeks ago to say I was taking a little time away is still sitting there saved but not posted. My bad! So, guess I should get back into blogging. Some stuff's gonna be different this time, though. I've closed blog comments. If you feel a genuine desire to comment or talk to me, please email me! I'll go into why I've done this later. It's all part of a bigger philosophy change on my part toward a lot of things.

First things first, though: thanks so much to Shirley for the blog candy she sent me! Such a gorgeous little notebook!

I love it, Shirley...thanks again!

So, anyway, to the (first - hehe) million dollar question: yes, I mourned Hillary's concession for a little under a week, but I got a heads up on it just a tad ahead of most (having volunteered on the campaign and still working the research with some of my old crew). So the first stage of my mourning ended right about the time she actually conceded. There was a little anger before and after, but then, finally, a calming whatever. I now can truthfully say I am open to both Obama and McCain, but there's no Kool-Aid drinking in my house. It's all about the issues with me now, and voting for either one is going to take some nose-holding. I pretty much think of them as McBama: Let the pandering to the center begin! Ya know?

And so now a second wave of just real sadness has hit me and it's still there behind the edges, in the shadows, under the bed, so to speak. I'm not sure that all of it is the campaign. I think some of it is the gloomy situations we as a nation and people are in, or at least many of us. The gas prices, natural disasters, the economy, the suckie states of medical care even with insurance, and hey, it's hotter than sizzle on a steak down here. There are solutions but I cannot see a clear choice as to who is going to choose the right answers and then get it bull-dozed into law. Oh, yeah, and I am finding that I can't enjoy any of the cable news channels now that I know how much some of them were in the tank and not objective and independent. I have absolutely no idea really what's happened in the world for the last 10 days or so, and for me, that is weird. I've enjoyed some good movies and a couple of those stupid Bravo reality shows.

Then, there is all the email I'm getting to join like 100 groups in the rapidly growing Nobama movement. People are pissed off, but I just want to get over being sad for the time being, LOL.

One decision I did make was that I got myself a life coach about 10 days ago. Okay, like, I wasn't looking for one, she kinda fell into my lap. We are bartering services with each other, cuz ain't no way I'm paying what she charges (and she probably thinks the same thing about me, lol). I set up her DH's payroll system for his company as my part of the barter.

Anyway, her name is Jenn and she has truly changed my life for the better. She hooked me up with an easy-to-follow nutrition-based diet and a physical therapy routine. It's all totally geared to what I will actually reach for and actually do.

The diet is calorie-based, and with my hatred of counting those buggers, this was a big challenge. She asked me a ton of questions about how I eat, what I reach for and why and when. She also recruited Hubs to help out by cooking more low-calorie fare when he gets to going in the kitchen on his days off. Basically, we decided I needed something similar to NutriSystem, but grocery store bought. I chose healthy foods that are easy to reach for and eat them over and over. So far it works pretty good most days.

I choose among Lean Cuisines, Slimfast Choc shakes, Nature Valley health bars, fresh fruits, salad greens, cereal, skim milk, and saltine crackers. None of these require me to cook them or spend a lot of time prepping them to eat. I just record what I eat and the calories, and most days I'm having trouble reaching my minimum target intake!

As for the physical therapy (which is also plain old exercise), I learned how to do tons of isometric routines in the pool, and it's very effective. I'm in there a minimum of 4 days a week and alternate that with my yoga tape and my exercise ball tape. I just added swimming laps full out today...just a few to start and build up gradually. I got Reggie some cute little Air Kong pool fetch toys that float and are made of rugged tennis ball material so that I can get him away from me when I'm swimming (he loves to zig and zag right in front of me, the little show-off, plus he accidentally scratches me sometimes as he's kicking, not fun). Reggie loves his toys and is worn out swimming and fetching by the time I'm finished.