Mother May I?

Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone. May is steamrolling through my life at about the same speed as the rest of this year - superfast. Mother's Day is this Sunday and then before I blink good it'll be Memorial Day.

It's also heated up even more down here on the Third Coast since my last entry. Slowly, surely, noticeably. One good thing that has come from it is that I have renewed my efforts to lose some more weight. About dang time, huh?

I should say, if I just make sure every day that I eat and drink everything I am supposed to, it's pretty much a weight loss program. Some days it's a real struggle just to drink the metamucil, the green tea (cuz I gotta have my coffee, too!), the water, the V8... eat the salad, the cheese, the fruit, and the Lean Cuisines or dinner-in-a-bag entree... and not the fast food.

I've been hanging in there, though, and been good for a few days now. Hopefully this will continue.

I want to make clear that I am not at all motivated to do this in order to wear a bathing suit. Lord, no, I can wear my bathing suit in my own pool in my own backyard just fine the way I am. I'm motivated to do this now because warmer weather makes me less hungry overall, and I sweat more. If you had my body, you would know that my fat folds get positively psychotic about sweat.

Ok, ok, I get that way. One summer a few years back, I ignored my fat folds and developed a bad skin infection. Not fun. I believe that's when I discovered Gold Bond medicated skin lotion and I use it religiously to this day, year round. If you are reading this and not in menopause yet, just suffice it to say that after menopause your skin crawls, itches, burns...for no reason at all. It's like your nerve endings are freaking out. Gold Bond helps immensely.

So, anyway, I'm thinking that the more weight I can lose, the better my fat folds will get. A girlfriend of mine scoffs at the idea, though. She has fat folds too, and she says that fat folds are better than skin folds, meaning when you lose the fat in your folds, you are left with skin folds and they droop more.

Great, just great. Deep down I refuse to believe that my skin has lost all of its elasticity, that if I lose the fat in my folds I won't also lose the folds. Say it ain't so, Joe.

I will say one thing, I'm losing those folds one way or another, even if I have to go under the knife. I'm thinking a full frontal slice-off would do just the trick, and take the boobs off, too.

Such is the madness that May brings.... ;-)